When Protective Parts Take Over in Relationships: Couples Healing Through Parts Work and the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model

In this upcoming episode of Embodied Dialogues, Jan will sit down with Dr. Frank Anderson, psychiatrist and trauma specialist, for a dynamic conversation on how parts work and FSPM come together in couples healing.

At the heart of this dialogue will be the relationship between protective parts and nervous system states. When couples become reactive, it is often because vulnerable parts are guarded by powerful protectors. At the same time, those parts are shaped by autonomic states of fight, flight, shutdown, or connection. Jan and Frank will explore how understanding both the inner parts system and the embodied felt sense of the nervous system can open new possibilities for safety, repair, and deeper intimacy.

They will discuss how attachment injuries become encoded in protective parts and physiological patterns, how polarized protectors escalate conflict, and how therapists and partners can track both parts activation and nervous system shifts in real time. This integrated lens will offer practical tools for transforming blame into curiosity and reactivity into connection.

This episode will be recorded live with an audience and will include time for Q and A. Participants will have the opportunity to ask questions and engage directly with Jan and Frank.

Walk Away With This Insight:

For Laypeople and Couples

• Why protective parts tend to take over during conflict

• How your nervous system state influences which parts show up

• How to recognize when you are blended with a protector

• Ways to slow down, regulate, and respond with greater clarity and compassion

• How combining parts awareness with embodied regulation can strengthen trust and connection

For Therapists and Coaches

• How to assess parts activation and autonomic state simultaneously in couples work

• How the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model can deepen parts work by tracking real time nervous system shifts

• How to work with polarized protective systems between partners

• Clinical approaches for attachment injuries and trauma reenactment

• Strategies for supporting co regulation, emotional repair, and embodied safety

This conversation will bridge trauma treatment, attachment science, parts work, and embodied awareness in a way that is clinically grounded and accessible. Whether you are a clinician or someone seeking more connected relationships, you will gain insight into how internal protective systems and relational dynamics continually influence one another.

Join us for the live dialogue, as your questions in real time, and stay connected through the FSPM Community or FSPMI Newsletter to receive the recording.